Saturday, February 11, 2012

February 12, 2012 Musings on the Days Here

In the first months of my being here my emotions were fluctuating wildly. It was reassuring to see on FB that we were all going through this. Our PC literature also forewarned us of this, and PC has been supportive, but reading it and going through it are two different things.  The Peace Corps is wise in making applicants wait a year after a major transition such as death or divorce before being assigned. Homesickness for family hit me much harder than I, a stoic Pennsylvania German, would ever have imagined. On top of that were the deaths of Bob, Mama and Tracy and the turmoil and losses in our families. I don't think I could have made it through the early, difficult months if I had come here earlier. I owe my successful transition to all the good friends and family around the world who kept connected with me. I hope you have some inkling of what your messages have meant.

Here, in San Jose, I was put into the hands of  Rachiel Magtibay, my counterpart teacher. Before I even came she was working for me. She was given total responsiblity for finding a home for me; a critical undertaking. She also carefully chose a language tutor. Meanwhile she was coming to grips with the fact that an unknown AMERICAN (scary) was coming to work with her for two years (scary).  All of this for weeks before she ever met me. It was she who arranged the wonderful Filipino welcome to PILMES.  Day to day, Rachiel is no less whole-hearted. She is wise and kind and constant. She is nurturing and encouraging to me like a good older sister (I sometimes call her "Ate", the Filipino term for eldest, esteemed sister). She is also a consummate professional, as are all of the teachers on our Grade 6 team.

Each day we see each other amidst the sea of Grade 6 pupils. 6 classes, 50-60 per classroom. That's a lot of pupils- waiting for instruction, moving to another class, heading out for break time- the classrooms are all open to each other and students have to flow through them to get to another classroom. Over  the heads of the students we smile and nod to each other. When we get a chance we gather to chat or share food.There is a pleasant and encouraging camaraderie and loyalty. We support each other in every way we can. Being human we all do the supporting and we all do the needing. Like everyone else, I'm on both sides... I suppose every day. This is my work place. This is where I buckle down and focus on the professional mission- teaching, tempting, cajoling and playing with the children to entice a little more English out of them.

  At home I am among our family of seven, accepted and supported and treated like one of the family. I feel good-will and tolerance among the members of this family. This is a peaceful, well-run household. Good food at every meal where we sit down and eat together. After eating we may or may not linger to talk, after which we retreat to our own rooms. This big house allows a lot of space. I head up the massive wooden steps to the spacious upstairs and into my bedroom, my own personal retreat. When Denny, the Country Director saw my room he said, "Yes, this is perfect, I can see this would be hard to replicate." It is kind of like a revamped, second floor sunporch. It is at once cozy and airy- yes, hard to replicate. Here is where I retreat and take care of me. I have hours to myself every night to read, work on computer, etc. It is just what I need to rest from the highly social life outside of here. When Trevor was here he participated in all I did for one day and he asked, with wonder, if this was a typical day? He said the back-to-back activities were great but exhausting. Yes, both are true! I have good balance and it all works well. Again, so much of this is due to Rachiel. She supports me in whatever way I need. She promotes my experiencing every aspect of Filipino life that presents itself, but she also encourages me to rest and take care of myself. And so I am rested and ready to engage every morning.

I am rested, fed and dressed in my school clothes when I step through the gate onto the sidewalk. I have three blocks to walk and I savor them. I love the rustic texture of the hand-laid cement sidewalks, with the dog prints in wavy trails across the squares. I love the various architecture of the houses and the lush bushes and intense-colored flowers hanging over the fences and reaching out through the rails. I am kept busy avoiding dog messes- 5 months and only one misstep! The dogs and I always eye each other warily. They don't seem menacing but I give them wide berth. Locals are more cautious of dogs than I  and I figure they know something I don't. I did see an interesting doggy interaction last week. I was closing the gate when I heard terrible squeeling in the next block. I looked over and here's the scene: One dog mounted on another, trying to mate. He is desperately hanging on while his one ear is being pulled in the teeth of an attacker and another attacker has his back leg in his teeth and is pulling it out to the side and up. That was a lot of doggy drama! I couldn't figure that scenario out and I heard my mantra run through my brain, "All over the world dogs are trying to mate and being attacked, not your business", and I turned my back and walked toward school. About a block down and one over and I came upon several dogs looking bedraggled and tired and I realized this was the motley crew of the mating debacle. So they all survived.  On my daily walks I get to greet a lot of people, as most Filipinos do their errands on foot throughout town. I usually see the old lady, Iggy, across the street, and I see the various venders and then, as I get closer to school, the parents and children. I never tire of saying hi to anyone, especially the children. I love it when a tricycle buzzes by and I hear a little voice chirp, "Mam Ali!" and I peek in and see a little face beaming at me. I pass the cluster of snack venders at the gates of school and the parents tending to their charges.  I say hi to the school gate-guards and I'm back at work again. Happy, happy work.

My work keeps evolving and I'm doing remedial work now with groups of 5 English-illiterate pupils at a time. This is my favorite kind of work! At lunch Rachiel and I share the hot, fresh-from- the-fire food that arrives from her mother every day at lunchtime.  After lunch I'll head to my classroom again and before I know it another school day is ending and I'm retracing my footsteps past the dogs and people, over the story-telling cement and back home. But chances are before I get home my phone will buzz and there will be another invitation for a walk, or to make a native dish, or go to town... I always have two fleeting thoughts, simultaneously: "Good! Someone wants me to do something!" and "Aahh! I'll be able to rest later!" I remember being that way as a child and I guess I always will be. This whole set-up is just right for me.

January 25, 2012 Christmas and New Year's Eve, 2011

I don't know why I haven't blogged. It's certainly not due to lack of material. Holy Cow! So much went on throughout December! Decorations are multiplying, caroling is increasing on the streets in the evening, presents are piling up in the living room and parties, family visits and food is being planned and prepared. All of that is familiar to me. Here are a few different traditions:

We had several gift exchanges, all secret until the final exchange. One was all 47 teachers. We only exchanged once, at the big Christmas party. Another one was held among all 6th graders and their staff,which makes about 300. I happened to get another teacher for that one. The 3rd exchange was among only the teachers/staff of the 6th grade and we had several versions of exchange that went on throughout December.

The first week we exchanged "something heavy". I found a pumpkin on my desk; I gave a bag of rice. The next one was "something wet". I gave roll-on deodorant and received a can of pinapple juice. Another exchange was "something sweet", for which I gave a little packet of candy. I was afraid I was going to forget to give the right gift at the right time, but I got it right... I think.

All these exchanges culminated in the big exchanges which occured during the parties. Parties last hours and involve lots of games and music and, of course, food. So right there are 3 major parties! Mama would love the parties here because everyone- adults and children, men and women- play the games- relay races, guessing games, musical chairs, singing, speeches- when you party here, you really participate! And, of course, tons of food.

While this fun is going on during the day, the solemn advent is being observed at church and the churches are decorated regally.  The last 9 days before Christmas are call "Simbangabi" and there is mass every day at 4AM and again at 8PM. You may be granted special intentions if you attend all 9 masses, but you will definitely be blessed by being part of the crowd. What a cultural (and spiritual) blast! I didn't intend to attend every one but the mood was such a draw. I'd step out of our house into the night and walk onto the street among the many others, all moving toward church. We'd greet each other and visit as we walked along.  Then we'd see the ornately decorated church and it's courtyard, strung with colored lights. If we were early, we'd get inside to sit or stand, otherwise, we joined the hundreds outside. The people outside listened to the mass on the loudspeakers and then filed into the church for communion.

Amy and I traveled to the island of Mindoro over Christmas weekend, so I missed the last couple days of Simbangabi here. Christmas was wonderful with Trevor and Amy. but next year I want to stay here for the holidays. I don't want to miss my H.Fam and friends here. I was here for New Years, though, which is the big day for my H Fam as that's  when their family comes from around the region and we celebrate both holidays at once. Amy came to share that and she was assumed right into the family. We had a wonderful time.

Our celebration started at 3PM with prayers of Thanksgiving. Then we ate a feast, of course. Then there was a birthday party for one of the Manila grandchildren, then we nibbled. Then we had a long Christmas party which lasted for hours but flew by in all the fun. At the end of that we exchanged gifts. We all got gifts for everyone else. Small, thoughtful gifts. I gave a modest set of towels to each married couple and a washcloth to each child. That tradition was exactly as my parents tradition was. Very nice. After the gift exchange, we ate. Then we sang videoke and visited, and ate. Then we had the New Year's Party with its own set of games and we nibbled some more and set off a ton of fireworks. The fireworks lasted for hours all through the town. There was a blue acrid haze drifting over the whole town. And talk about noise! It turns out the noise is purposeful- it drives away evil spirits so the New Year starts fresh and clean.  It was a lot of fun and I looked around at all these people surrounding me and thought, as I often do, about how kind and smart and fun they are! And I loved that they took Amy right in like family. They told her that, too. And they even had gifts for her.

This early-to-bed girl (me) was a little worried I'd fall asleep or get a headache staying awake but not to worry! I was excitedly awake and didn't drop into bed until about 2AM.
Happy New Years, everyone out there reading this blog.

December 10, 2011 Year 18! The Debut

The 18th Birthday Celebration:
My American Egalitarianism (as cultural books call it) balked at this event... I "suspended judgement" and tried to go with an open mind.
The invitation included the program, listing all her sponsors. These are just the center pages. There were several others pages.  Each person is chosen as someone special and close. Above each column of names is the gift being bestowed by them.  Mam Rachiel was a sponsor and she invited me as her guest.







Presenting Ghelyn, in one of the four gowns she donned throughout the evening.


Now, I submit to you, does this look like the smile of a spoiled brat? She was smiling at Rachiel, happy to see her and including me in her welcome. Her parents were just as warm and welcoming.
Ghelyn sat on the stage and an MC announced each person conferring a gift. That person then stepped to the microphone to speak. It reminded me so much "Sleeping Beauty" and all the fairies bestowing their wishes. No evil fairies here, though.       

  It was like a rather grand wedding reception. The venue (a word commonly used here) was beautiful and the food was delectable and I was with Rachiel and Mare Bibe who were explaining each step. It was lovely! There was a very choreographed progression through the events. Along with the formal presentation of gifts, there were dances, very old-world Spanish dances, which is, of course, where this whole tradition started. I kept feeling as though I was glimpsing an event happening hundreds of years ago, and I kept wondering what traditions it displaced.

 As it happened, the story of Ghelyn's parents is important to this tale. There was a young widow with two children. She lived as a single, devoted mother, working hard to provide for her little family. A kind man, much younger than she, fell in love with her and wanted to marry her. She wasn't sure. She'd been a self-sufficient widow for 12 years. But he was determined and patient and so good to her and the children that she finally gave in. They married and he was a loving, kind husband and father to her two children. But imagine his joy when he and his wife had a baby girl! 

Now flash forward 18 years.

As a kind of culminating moment, the family members each gave his or her wishes and thoughts. The older sister "Ate" told of how, as a high schooler, she was so thrilled when her mother told her she was going to have a baby sister or brother. She said her little baby sister was so precious to her and has never stopped being her precious baby sister. As she spoke, her voice broke and she couldn't go on for a moment. It was wonderful to witness this love. Ate works abroad and had flown across the world to be here for her sister.

Throughout the evening I was watching the parents and family. (Shoot- I'm always watching everyone!)  And I was glad to catch this expression on her father's face as he watched Ghelyn.
Daddy watching his little girl.

If we are called to see beyond filth and poverty then we are also called to see beyond opulence and wealth and look into a person's eyes. Look at those eyes.